I Almost Died Recently, But That's A Post For Another Time

So my wife is off at the, Bette Midler hosted, annual "Hula-Ween Ball". It's a charity event for NYC's parks, and greenery.
The great irony is, she wishes she was home, I wish I was out.

I guess what I'm saying is children ruin everything.

Them and fluorescent lighting.

I Can't Take a Compliment

So I turned 42 the other day, and had the distinct pleasure of 2 different strangers telling me I looked much younger. The second one asked what my secret was. I said;
"The regular, and ritualistic, killing of hobos."

Strangers just don't get my sense of humor.

The Grim Reaper Can Suck It!

So I'm less than 12 hours away from turning 42, and the bony fuck still hasn't been able to catch me. That's right, you heard me, I called you a "bony fuck". Whatta' ya' gonna' do about-.....what's that tingling in my left arm?
I gotta' go.


P.S.- The house is now taking odds on Birthday 43 actually occurring.

The Obvious

My birthday is this week, and I'm of two minds; (happily) "HOLY CRAP I'M STILL ALIVE!", and (resignedly) "holy crap I'm STILL alive?".

I've done my part. Why hasn't someone killed me already?

"The cat's in the bag, the bag's in the river."

In the alternate universe where I get to Greenlight big Hollywood studio remakes, I would hire Sorkin to update "The Sweet Smell of Success".

Then I would cast James Franco, and Michael Douglas.

And then we'd all dance around the gumdrop fountain, under the marshmallow tree.

I miss LSD.

Feelin' Outta' Touch

Just watched the Bryan Cranston hosted episode of SNL. Am I wrong,which would be the norm, or were there more clever, and witty pieces than usual?

Also, when did Kanye start performing in The Negative Zone?

The previous line is meant to be understood by SNL viewing, comic book geeks only.