Yet Another Reason I'm An East Coast Snob

No joke this time, just an observation.

My daughter can grow up and marry whomever she falls in love with.

As long as she sticks to her roots, the Northeast.

And they say California leads progressive change?

I'm Not Telling Where Though...(girlish giggle).

While I got an amazing terry-cloth bathrobe for Fathers day, the important present is coming this week. I was given permission from The Overlord/My wife that we can afford a new tattoo. NEW INK!!! Huzzah!!! I say, Huzzah!!!

So as not to keep the 7 of you that occasionally actually read my drunken ramblings in suspense, the new tat is....(picture it in an old fashioned typewriter font)


You must never be afraid to go there.
                                                              Harlan Ellison

Too on the nose?

My Solo Gift Of The Magi

I was supposed to get an eye exam the other day. Instead I blew it off, and went to the comic book store. When I got home, and went to read my comics.....yeah,I couldn't.

I'm an idiot.

But we knew that already.

I Don't Even Own A Car, So Fuck Off.

New York recently passed a law that makes it illegal to smoke on public beaches, and in public parks.

It gets better.

They announced that the NYPD would not be expected to enforce the law, that falls on the Parks Department, and fellow citizens.

HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!!

Don't Read This Post.....No, Seriously, DON'T!

I've found my first positive about aging. While, yes it's true, your balls start to droop, apparently so does your cock. Which, therefore, makes it look bigger.

I warned you in the headline.

YOU chose to come this far.

Why I Don't Have A Problem With Groundhogs Day

I find Fathers Day to be the most disturbing holiday EVER! It's a day based around the fact that I'm obligated to call my Dad and thank him for fucking my Mom.

That's fucked up.

I'm Beginning To Think I Should Have Saved This Post For Valentines Day

It's Fathers Day this Sunday. So to 50% of the dads that read this, Fuck You. You're cheating on your wife, and are therefore, by definition,  a scumbag.

So as not to sound like I'm a complete cynic, kudos to those of you that have been hitting that, and only that, all these years.

If our wives can put up with it, so should we.

Unless you're married to one of those 42% bitches that is cheating on you.

Make Me Mow The Lawn Will You...?

It never ceases to amuse me how uncomfortable my 75 year old, Alabama raised, father seems to get when I sign off on phone calls with "I love you".

Not that he doesn't hit me back with an "I love you too.", but there's always the slight...pause. I like to think of it as the residual "Holy-Crap-If-I-Say-I-Love-You-To-Another-Male-It-Makes-Me-Gay" attitudes he was surrounded by growing up.

Which is why I delight in torturing him with "love" every phone call.

Does that make me a sadistic bastard?

I LOOOOOVVVVVEEEE YOU DADDY!!!!