It's dawned on me, I have been negligent in my b-day wishes to my family, and friends recently. As an attempt to make amends, I offer this blanket belated birthday greeting.
Dear(YOUR NAME HERE)- I couldn't feel worse that I wasn't able to wish you a more timely Happy (YOUR AGE HERE) Birthday! As you may, or may not know the (DOG, BABY, TWINS, IGUANA) gave us no end of headaches since last we talked. Then again I remember your bout with (IRRITABLE BOWEL, CONSERVATISM, GOUT) so I'm sure you know what I'm going through.
Everything here is well, and we look forward to hearing about your (BABY, BEING FIRED, DOG, LOSS OF HOUSE, IGUANA), and seeing you (SOON, IN THE FUTURE, WHEN OUR COURT DATE COMES).
All my (LOVE, CONTEMPT, DERISION, WELL WISHES)-
Verbal Hooligan
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